I haven't even started, but thinking about work is already troubling me...

[pic_murasaki]

Please let me angst a bit for real here? Thank you...

I'm excited, I'm nervous... but most of all, I'm scared to start working.

I've been too attached with my inspiration. I know it might be an exaggeration to say that I've been drawing all my life-- but yeah, I think it feels that way.
Been saying that 'this is the only thing I could do best,' cause it's the truth, I was never really good at anything. I feel loved when I get praised online, so I give my all...

I'm scared of the stupidest things, but I've been afraid of that eversince.
It's like I've been trying NOT to find work cause I wanted to stay in my own little world... but our 2 younger sisters will be college soon, we needed more financial support, we need a LOT of other things. I badly wanted to help...

Heck, I'm not even sure if I'll be able to buy a PSP once I start working. That's my only inspiration for work... really... I kinda feel guilty that my inspiration isn't my family. I want to shoot myself for that.

ToV's here, I wanted to stay online longer to read more spoilers so I won't get left behind. I know when I start working I'd have to nearlly abandon drawing and going online my inspiration. Everything. Everyone.

Yo-tan, my twin, draws rarely now. He's lost his drive with it since our father left and he was also forced to work to help out with our financial problems. He draws really good. He was WAY better than me actually. If he only continued, we'd probably be drawing lots of Tales together... (The last Tales art I saw he drew was an unfinished AschXGuy as I recall...) Ok, one more thing I'm fearing, I don't want to loose drawing just like him.

Though I am thankful he still plays games and he's quite fired up with working cause he wanted to buy an NDS... which is good inspiration for him.

Uhmmm... I know not a lot of people really listens to me, but to everyone else who still reads this, will you guys still be here to listen and look once I'm working and have lesser time online?

I don't know if I made any sense there, I wanted to type something about how I feel... Man, I really suck at this.

Ah anyways, I have other problems ahead. I pray that I pass the training... Ahaha...
Let me draw anything I want right now (I won't get to post most of them though). My inspiration's overflowing like crazy. All those fandoms in my head's been acting up.


So the angst ends here. I hope I'll feel better after this... Or maybe after my first month in work? We'll see if things work out...

So uhhh... Nina, I badly need a RavenXFlynn icon. Wahahaha. Made my own for now. It's temporary. I'll remove it once you make a better one that'll suit my taste. Hehe, Good luck.<3

~~~

Tales of Vesperia. My OTP gets a bit more love.<3 WITH SPOILERS!!!

*SPOILERS* Ok, so RavenXKarol is canon, after the kid confessed his love for the old man. Lulz. SPOILERS. But Karol got turned down, aww... Been thinking of giving the pairing SOME support, but I don't think anyone can convert me to fully love the pairing.

Like always, I feel intimidated with my OTP. I felt the same way back then with ToA's AschXGuy... It's happening AGAIN.

I got some things right in my fake ToV spoilers from the last last post.>D
And since my pairing got some more love and I hope it'll work out a bit more--
-- I got desperate and drew someone else.>.>;; (WHAT!?D8)

WARNING! ToV Spoilers under the cut.XD



Found this screenshot in our desktop.>.>;; No spoilers there though.^^;;
My twin loves playing HEARTS. And he obviously likes that crack real name we gave for Raven.XD

I was actually sulking more, but thanks to Nina for giving me a heads up with the certain ToV spoiler.<3

I couldn't access nicovideo when I was online, but I was desperate. TOO DESPERATE. I texted lloyd_dunamis whom I know will be online SOMEWHERE and asked him if he can rip the niconico vids linked in sephi_chan21's LJ.

Talked to my twin about it and he actualy think it's great that someone betrays your party in ToV.>D We paired the two some more and revised how our OTP will work out...

I was already (guess) sketching some. How he'll look like, his armor and the likes... before younger bro came and was like, "Dete, ToV's battle is so cool!<3" uhhh... right, it's the first time he saw ToV's battle.^^;;


Shuvann? Schwann? I wonder what's his surname?8D;;
His name sounds so tasty as well. Szechuan?>.>;; *thinks of KFC menu*
So we got Rice bowl and chiffon, yum.<3<3<3 *gets shot*

Anyways, the guy with the same hair as Raven's (with the clothes like Flynn) is NOT a RavenXFlynn lovechild, sadly. From Nina's description, Schwann was wearing kind of like the same armor as Flynn's... I still haven't seen the vid at that time...

The rest is... what I could figure out from the LQ vid after I saw it.XD I couldn't really tell if his hair is down or tied up. The Hi-ougi pic make it look like it's down, but with his sprite (?) his hair looks so short.o_o;; Is it tied up?


Yes, I was staring at those only.>.>;; OMG so cool.<3

I hate drawing Flynn cause of his armor and now... Raven you too!?x_x;; My ToV OTP tortures me sooo much. They should be glad I still lvoe them.XD Yes, you too, Flynn, I love you very much.<3

Wow. Raven knows how to brush his hair after all!XD<3 He sounds sooo evil in that battle. Me likies.<3 Ugh, I sound like a Raven fangirl. Don't get me wrong. I wonder what happens after?D8 How'd he get his hair messy again?8D

Ah yes, he's such a mystery.<3

I need a better video of him so I can draw him better and pair him properly with Flynn.<3<3<3 If Raven's real name is really spelled Schwann... that means my OTP gets double N's.XD SchwannXFlynn?<3<3<3

In a whole ToV related rant. I've seen the opening scenes and the last scenes. I think I have an idea on what's the main plot now.>.>;; It kinda reminds me of ToA's 'People can live without the Score' but this time, 'People can live without Fontechs' if it's ToA verse.>.>;; What was it in ToV? Blastia?XD (love the kanji of it <3)
If anybody can correct me on this, much better.<3

Karol's got a move that's like Klonoa's Thunder Hurricane, Effing!XD<3 Bananamco just made us SO happy.<3

JAEGAR SOUNDS LIKE PEGASUS OF YGO!!!XDXDXD<3<3<3

Such a long rant.x_x;; Thanks for looking and reading.^^;;<3


Uhmmm... I actually finished my first ToV fic last night.>.>;; Not gonna post it cause I'm still figuring out that guy's relationship with Flynn. Hehehe.<3

Another Kousuke Fujishima Tales art (ASCH x GUY), cause I was reading a few doujinshi's that made me miss the pairing too much.T_T<3 They still need love...

I pray I'm worried over nothing... and I hope nobody ruins this day...
Please, don't make me feel guilty. I want to enjoy the last few days of my very long holiday...

Thank you very much, everyone.